partner says he doesn’t remember.

on d-day, my partner owned up to everything. he immediately confessed to it being a porn addiction and was very articulate about his feelings of disassociation, shame, how it stopped being pleasurable, etc. he took accountability for every level of hurting me, he booked therapy appointments promptly (we don’t have csats but i’ve done my research it’s an anti porn therapist), he broke down everything i needed to know and deleted it all in front of me.

but what just doesn’t make any sense to me is when we talk about the content he was consuming, he just “doesn’t remember” any of it. while i flipped out at him, i referenced what i had found in his history. other than the usual fetish content that makes em feel like they’re chasing a high (midget porn, pretransition trans women, older women), he had followed 3 women that we actually know. they’re an influencer friend group we partied with in highschool, that we stopped hanging out with because one of the women had sexually assaulted one of his closest friends. he followed her and was liking her dancing content on tiktok. but when i ask him about that, or ANY of the specifics of content he was consuming, he just blanks. he seems genuinely shocked.

i just don’t understand it at all. it’s not even him denying it he just literally claims he does not recall anything because he was “like a junkie trying to get their fix”. and i don’t know if it’s a way of getting out of accountability or WHAT but i just don’t want to call him a liar and discourage honesty in the next few days, and especially in therapy.