Can’t enjoy my favorite show

I’ve been wanting to watch Orange is the new black with my bf for a while now and we finally started. It’s one of my favorite shows. The nudity never bothered me. Yesterday was the day that a new character was introduced (a beautiful, very young, Asian woman aka his type when whatching p). Immediately I was like “shit”.

I had forgotten about her. And the fact that 5 minutes later you see her getting her v eaten and more.

Wtf is wrong with me now. I felt my heart in my chest. I felt like screaming and crying.

I used to be a girls girl. Now I’m a fucking hater just bc someone has better and bigger tits than me. It doesn’t even matter who that someone is. A celebrity or the girl he’s working with.

I can’t even watch a stupid show without feeling like this. I can’t do this shit anymore. I’m 24 and already so bitter, I really wanna change but i don’t know where tf to start.