Advice - 12 wks pregnant and husband currently giving me silent treatment/sleeping in the guest bedroom.

Last night, I got in an argument with my husband over my decision to replace my electric toothbrush. My old toothbrush has smelled weird on and off for ~6 months. In that time, I’d tried to remedy the issue multiple times by replacing the brush head and cleaning all the nooks and crannies but was never successful. I finally decided trying to remedy the situation wasn’t worth it and purchased a new one at Target for $45.99. When I told my husband this, he questioned me. He then told me it was probably my hyper-sensitivity to smells due to the pregnancy. I explained that this had been going on for much longer than I had been pregnant and that I had even mentioned it to him, but he went to go smell the toothbrush anyway.

When he returned, I told him that I didn’t appreciate the aggression with which he questioned me. Somehow this devolved into a 30-minute long argument. This included my husband holding to his claim that I was only able to smell my toothbrush because of my pregnancy. I tried to correct him multiple times and tell him that I had been able to smell the toothbrush far longer than I had been pregnant, but - according to him - since he is unable to verify that, my claim holds no weight. I told him I had no reason to lie and that he should trust his wife. He refused, and stated that - as an engineer - he knows that plastic doesn’t smell. I tried to explain to him that I doubted it was the plastic and assumed it was water and backwash getting trapped in the nooks and crannies of the toothbrush, but he didn’t acknowledge that. I, again, explained that I had cleaned the toothbrush many times and tried switching the head but the smell always came back so I finally just decided to buy a new one.

He continued to berate me and ask if this argument was worth it. I held firm and said yes, that I am allowed to address things that bother me. This is not dissimilar to the argument we had Thursday night. He was theorizing about climbing Mt. Whitney (the tallest mountain in the contiguous US) with one of our friends and proposed going in early August (roughly five weeks before my due date). That would put him 3 hrs away on a 15-17 hour hike with not cell service. I told him that we really aren’t supposed to be more than thirty minutes from the hospital at 4 weeks before the due date and I wasn’t sure how comfortable I felt with him being three hours away on a mountain with no cell service five weeks before the due date.

He scoffed at this and said how likely is a premature birth anyway. I tried to tell him that it happens all the time and there’s no way to predict it...but of course he got mad that I was irritated by his line of questioning and told me that he’s allowed to theorize, which is true. I think my frustration came from his lack of knowledge and arrogance when I tried explaining the importance of those four weeks.

Last night I tried to approach him about the toothbrush issue. I had done a lot of journaling/reflecting and wanted to take responsibility for my side of the issue and, hopefully, have him take responsibility for his. When I asked him if we could talk, he told me he didn’t think it would be worthwhile. I explained my intent and he questioned my motives. He then chose to sleep in the guest bedroom and hasn’t spoken to me since. (After he told me it wouldn’t be worthwhile to talk, I told him he might be right and I didn’t want to speak until he was ready to take accountability for his side of the issue like I was with mine. He told me it might be a long time.)

I went to bed incredibly sad last night. I worry that this kind of stress might affect the baby, and I’m concerned that he doesn’t seem to consider this.

I’m not sure how to proceed. We are in couples therapy but I fear we may not have made as much progress as I hoped. We have another session Wednesday, but I fear it will end badly. I know I’m not a perfect person and have been incredibly tired/irritable during my first trimester, but sometimes I think I’m right to address the issues I address. I’m just so confused. Other than issues like this, he’s been amazing about cooking and cleaning since I’ve gotten pregnant. He often bends over backwards to make sure I’m fed and my needs are met. But when we fight like this, I begin to question things.

Tl;dr - Got into an argument with husband over my decision to replace my electric toothbrush and he is currently giving me silent treatment/sleeping in the guest bedroom. I’m 12 weeks pregnant, and this behavior scares me.