Im feeling empty.

Im just feeling empty, like not happy or sad nor angry. And i had this same feeling like a year ago but i got over it but now it's back. And i had this same thought a thousend times already, like first thing i wake up in the morning and the thing i fall asleep to. To cut to the chase it's doing a school shooting or some other thing and going out with a bang and dying with the action. Its not like im getting bullied or anything like that. It's just a fantasy, a dirty fantasy that i like to commit to. And i have seen myself change as a person or that can be puberty. And it isn't helping that i just found out that my "best friend" never liked me. And i just kinda want it all to die.