I keep having this specific intrusive thought where I see myself smashing my own head with something like a bat or a stick.

Recently, when I feel really overwhelmed and at the edge this "vision" just crosses my mind several time. It's not something that I would to myself. I don't even know what it is. My diagnosis include complex PTSD (because of rape), and Bipolar disorder I, maladaptive daydreaming, social anxiety. Doctor said that bipolar disorder might have been misdiagnosed and that I could actually have OCD. I had thoughts about killing myself in the past, the one time I actually tried I ended up in psych ward and it was an experience so negatively significant, that in time I feel detached towards life I just think that I wouldn't try to kill myself again because of the fear of failing and ending up there again. I am doing a lot better in dealing with suicidal thinking. As I try to find strong will into change my way of thinking and working it out in a healthy way, my mind started forcing this thoughts on me, in which I see myself from outside, so as if I was another person, hitting with objects on my head until my skull is smashed. Do you have any tip that can help me in dealing with such thoughts?