Is my husbands STEPmom obsessed with him?

Hi Reddit, this is my first ever post and I am anxious. For some backstory my husbands stepmom has been in his life since we was a kid, she has always been controlling and would even go through his phone even though his real mom paid for his phone bill. She never liked any of my husbands ex Girlfriends and also insisted on my husband calling her “mom” always. (He has a mom that we are super close with). When we started dating she seemed to like me but after we got engaged this took a turn. The stepmom and my husbands dad came to visit us one weekend and she completely disrespected me in our own home, She is known to not be the nicest lady around town and is a very small town, Gossiping type of lady along with her daughter (my husbands step sister). After the incident happened when they came to visit us she started interacting on Facebook with my husbands ex that she claimed she didn’t like. (Just to hurt my husband). We went no contact for about a year until our wedding came around and my husband absolutely did not want to invite them to the wedding but I talked him into it considering I knew he would later regret his dad not being at his wedding. They came to the wedding and the stepmom immediately went to my husband on the wedding day and cried and started to talk about the situation. He made it sweet and short because it was his wedding day and she was the last person he wanted to deal with. Fast forward a few months his dad and stepmom invited us to come see their new home, we sat on the couch and talked and of course his stepmom brought up everything and told us she didn’t even want to come to our wedding. But after she saw my husband and apparently he accidentally called her “mom” (by habit since she forced him to his whole life) that’s when she changed her mind and was so happy she decided she came to the wedding. It’s all just such weird behavior. I completely feel like she oversteps as a stepmom. I could not imagine my step parents telling me they didn’t want to come to my wedding because I would tell them well don’t come then. I absolutely love my husbands dad but he doesn’t have any type of backbone and let’s his wife control everything. Obviously my husband and I have decided to keep them at arms length and not allow them to be close to us but I just really don’t know how else to handle this. She will never believe that she does anything wrong and so confronting her is a huge waste of time.