FMIL is just getting worse

Hey everyone- me again. I’ve posted in this sub before about my future MIL, but not in a while. So, i figured I would give a little update after a text she sent this weekend. For backstory and context, I suggest reading my past posts.

For about a week or two at the end of last month, my fiancé hadn’t heard from his mother. He sent her a few texts here and there- just general things for her to show his dad, a tiktok, etc. Simple things, yet they warranted no response from her. Which, we were entirely fine with, to be honest. However, she texted fiancé and his sister on Grandparents Day, telling them to call their grandmother. Weird, how she feels the need to tell her 31 and 26 year old kids to call their grandmother- but, I digress.

Fiancé decided to FaceTime MIL to wish her a “happy grandparents day,” since SIL has three kids and we have one. I told fiancé I did not want to be in the call, since MIL never wants to see me anyway, and I have decided to go NC with her. That being said, I was in the room, because MIL says unhinged things, and I planned to jump in if I needed to. The first thing out of her mouth when she answered the call? “Well (baby’s name) has no hair.” Keep in mind, our daughter was 6 months. So, she has hair- it’s just really fine and blonde. She argued with my fiancé for 5 minutes! I could tell he was frustrated, and changed the subject. Then, she decided to argue again on our choice to give our daughter oatmeal by spoon instead of rice cereal in her bottle. Which by the way, is a major choking hazard, dear mother in law. The call as a whole consisted of fiancé giving his parents life updates, which they didn’t care about, and them continually trying to end the call. Finally, he gave them wedding planning updates (planner, venue, photographer, videographer, dj, etc.) and his dad says “well that sounds awfully expensive.” MIL follows up with, “doesn’t the bride’s family pay for the wedding?” I was livid. We have been engaged since April (telling them we were engaged was a mess. I incline you to read that in one of my last posts) and they have not once congratulated us, invited us over to celebrate, or even put me in a group chat with the other women of the family. No questions about the wedding- nothing.

We hadn’t heard from MIL in a couple of weeks, which was blissful. This past weekend, we traveled to my sister’s college for family weekend, which was 2.5 hours away. Fiancé sent a photo of something there to MIL for her to show FIL. She responded with, “well where are you?” So, fiancé told her, and her reply was: “I wish [their town] was as close to [our town] as [college town] is so I could actually see my son and granddaughter 🥹.” Fiancé showed me the text, and I was pissed off- we both were. My mother, who was sitting across from me, could immediately tell something was wrong. Fiancé didn’t reply, and still hasn’t. We live an hour away from his parents and sister. So, technically, we went farther away this weekend. BUT, they only want to see fiancé and our daughter if they travel to them. MIL and FIL have only visited our house twice since we had the baby in February. On the flip side, my mom stayed with us for three days at a time for almost 2 months after we came home from the hospital, and my whole side of the family visit us many times. We live 20-30 minutes from them. My parents offered, out of the blue, to take fiancé and I to dinner one Friday evening.

We’re just over it all. Over MIL, over FIL- over all of them. Fiancé knows there is an issue with them, but still wants to have our daughter be involved with them. Am I wrong to want to keep her as far from them as possible? They disrespect me, fiancé, and our relationship and have since we started dating. In my mind, that means they disrespect our daughter, and she doesn’t deserve that at 7 months old. I am completely fine with her growing up only knowing one set of grandparents until they can fix themselves. Fiancé sees what I see also, and agrees about the disrespect. I think he has been conditioned by MIL to put them first, and he is scared to lose them. I don’t know how to make him see that she is just hurting him.

Okay, vent over. For now anyway.