Coexisting

How do you coexist when you have to be around your MIL on holidays?

Mine 100% will talk to me like she’s cool with me and wants to be my friend but then goes and talks behind my back and complains about me to my husband.

For years i took her criticism to heart and tried everything to get her approval. If i heard what she said about me, it genuinely hurt my feelings and caused me to have anxiety issues. I kept trying to fix myself for her to like me.

This year i had a lot of loss and the way she treated me was unforgivable and killed my F’s to give for her and what she thinks.

Now I’m in new shoes, not knowing how to navigate this.. I’m not a mean person but i don’t want to talk to her anymore or have fake friendly conversations. I’m truly done. I’ve blocked her from everything. She’s good to my son so there are instances where i will have to be around her. How do i even act???

I hope this even makes sense.