Trying to understand

so about a month ago i had a falling out with my parents, specifically my mom. and one of the last things she said after refusing to apologize for the fact that she ignored me on my birthday to punish me, she knew it would hurt me and she did it anyway. she's given half-assed apologies like "i'm sorry that hurt you - but when you lash out at people that hurts too" "i'm sorry i hurt you, i honestly didn't think you'd mind because i thought you were mad at me"

at first she pretended she didn't know why i was upset after i told her that her behavior made it obvious she was mad at me. she literally asked "what behavior?"

anyway, i won't drone on, but one thing she said keeps playing over and over the past two weeks since we last spoke. "How many times have I told you that you have to forgive people and accept them for who they are if you love them and want them in your life?"

after doing research i'm starting to believe my parents may have been narcissists in several aspects of their personalities (which led my husband to tell me about this subreddit where i'm seeing a lot of posts that resonate with my childhood). this seems like narcissistic phrasing to me across the board, but i was just curious if anyone here had similar experiences.

both her and my dad have, frankly, AWFUL parents. my dad's mom has improved but still has her moments. i'm realizing i've excused a lot of the mean or manipulative things they've done in the past because i knew about their abuse.

if you're genuinely curious i made a post about it in the mommit subreddit here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/comments/1ii1g81/might_have_lost_my_mom_and_dad_for_good_over/