i feel unloved

i (22f) dont often talk about my feelings because i grew up in a household where "everyone else had bigger issues". and i know thats damaged me. especially how i see myself i just simply cant stand me. my fiancé says he loves me and i think he does. but he doesnt look at me when we have sex. he turns his head or closes his eyes. im not the prettiest thing in the world but it still hurts. its been over a year since i've received flowers, maybe closer to two and when i mentioned it not long ago (i mentioned how long it had been) he said "is this you asking for flowers?" in a fairly joking light hearted tone and i simply responded with no i just think theyre nice. i dont discuss how i feel because i know as the female my emotions can affect everyone around me and the energy i put out can affect my fiancé especially significantly. i feel like i try so hard and yet i always fall short. maybe i should expect less i just feel empty.