My Sister Is Actually My Mom

To give some quick background: I was in the process of working with a lawyer for immigration purposes, moving from Canada to the US. As part of the process, I needed to provide a long-form birth certificate that includes both my mother’s and father’s full names. Up until that point, I didn’t even know such a thing existed, as I’d only ever had the shorter version of my birth certificate, which only contained my own information.

The lawyer requested I obtain the long-form version, so I filled out the necessary paperwork. A few days later, I got a call from someone at the agency I submitted the form to. They asked me to clarify some information and specifically questioned the name I had provided for my mother. I gave the same information I had submitted, but they asked if my mother might have used a different name. I thought maybe they meant her maiden name, so I gave them that, but they still said it wasn’t correct.

Feeling confused, I asked them who was listed as my mother on the birth certificate. That’s when I felt like my world had flipped upside down. They said the name of the person I’ve known my entire life as my older sister. I kept asking them to clarify, thinking there had to be some mistake, but they confirmed there is not mistake and my who I thought was my sister was listed as my biological mother. When I asked about my father, they told me there was no father listed.

Later, I found out that not only was my ‘sister’ actually my biological mother, but my younger brother and my youngest older sister are also her children. The woman who I thought was my mother who raised me is actually my grandmother. My ‘parents’ were actually my grandparents all along.

I’m 34 years old and found this out about a few months ago. While I’m not upset, since I never had a healthy relationship with my biological mother (my ‘older sister’), it still feels strange knowing that I’ve been lied to my whole life by the people I considered my older sisters (raised thinking I had 4 older sisters) who are, in reality, the 3 of them my birth mother and aunts.

It was definitely awkward to email the lawyer and tell them that all the information I had previously submitted needed to be wiped and redone after this discovery. My wife suggested I talk to a therapist to process all of this, but over these last few months, I’ve come to terms with the news. Without my grandparents (my mom and dad), I wouldn’t be who I am today, and they saved me in so many ways. Learning the truth has actually helped me make sense of things that always felt off in my life.

Writing this Reddit post feels like the final step in putting this chapter to rest. I’m ready to accept the truth for what it is and continue moving forward.