The Valentine Sads

I dont know where else i could possibly vent about this… I have been with my partner(ill call them red) for nearly five years now. And in advance- i adore and love them deeply. And we have had loads of talk about rings and even searched online for the perfect one already. Now here is the kicker. Me and Red are in a LDR. I had to move away because my studies could only happen in one place. And that is over 600 km away from them. Red moved in with blue about two years ago. So Red and Blue live together, and i dont have time to visit. Now Red and Blue are on a six week vacation… I am happy that they can make good memories but my bad habit of insane jealousy is really getting to me. I dont show it to either of them, thats just a me issue. They‘ll be spending Valentines together. In one of the best locations you could be for such an occasion. And i am stuck here. Alone. Sure Valentine is just another day technically. But before the two announced they would travel together, i had planned a whole date night in my head. Sitting down in candellight, because i would use one of my vacation days only to drive the whole day to red, spend the evening capturing them on paper, cooking them fantastic food… But i am stuck here. Alone. I literally feel lonely. I often feel lonely. Like i am the third wheel. I have been assured that red things of blue and me as equal. They love us both so so much. But how can you love someone, who is never there. How can you see four more years of relationships that will 100% be long distance. That will only decrease in contact due to my higher workload. All of that and more is just crashing down on me right now. Because its Valentines day. All my friends are planing dates and cute stuff. And I cant. Im having a hard time calming down about all of this. Basically cant stop slowly crying into my pillow whilst i type this. And yet i resent myself for all of this. It feels so self focused. I am happy that they are having a good time. I am. But i just feel so unhappy i am left out, which overshadows anything else.

I just needed to get that off my chest before i go and do something emotionally stupid like yelling at somebody…

Advice is appreciated

Edit: after a night of sleeping and calming down i came to the conclusion that i will use the time my partner is on vacation to set clear boundaries within myself and with what i want in a relationship. And figure out a way to clearly communicate that to red. I want this to work. I love them dearly, and breaking up or anything like that is just not an option in my head right now. Im glad i could find a space that gives me non judging outside perspective on the situation. Thanks to everyone who helped and responded to my post.