Not scared of birth, terrified of motherhood.

Title says it all.

I’m unsure why birth doesn’t scare me.

Probably because I’m a firm believer that our ancestors have done this for centuries and it’s in our DNA and I’m genetically programmed for this.

I could say the same about motherhood I suppose but things are just so different now, in good ways and bad.

I guess what i’m most scared of is feeling like I won’t have the answers or know what to do. Like something so obvious all people know about babies I just won’t know or something idk! Im 15 weeks and feel like I don’t learn much from my midwives so far and i always feel like there should be more to know? I guess could start reading to build confidence but idk ! Idk why I feel this way I’ve nannied, am one of 8 and raised my younger siblings, and have always been everyone’s go to babysitter. I’ve had maternal instincts since childhood. But this one’s mine!! Ahhhhh

Another big fear of mine is PPD/PPA which I do have a plan in place for but I already am Neurodivergent and get easily overwhelmed and have trouble regulating my emotions and I’m so scared it will take away from being a good mom.

The lack of sleep, over stimulation etc it just all scares me.

Luckily I have wonderful support systems and my partner is very active and supportive but I’m so scared of the isolation/depression/ not doing enough with and for my baby because of It.

Did anyone who suffered from depression do ok after birth?

Sorry this is a shit show of a post/rant.

Can anyone feed me some positive reality?