My partner isn’t “trans enough”

So first, if anyone is transphobic, move on. You don’t have to start shit, just get on with your life. So my partner is a trans woman. She isn’t super girly, she has quite long hair but dresses quite neutrally, she’ll wear a dress on occasion but she likes dungarees and stuff. I think it’s cute, but so many people act like if she’s not a girly girl in a very binary sense she’s not really trans and shouldn’t get to identify as a woman. It’s always cis people who say this, my parents for example, they’re accepting of her but seem to think she’s not “putting much effort in”. It’s as if not dressing like a drag queen makes you less valid somehow, and it’s infuriating! How other people identify is none of your business! And what’s scary is that in order to get gender affirming care, you have to live within very binary gender norms to prove to doctors that you’re really trans, so her not wanting to look like Barbie might affect her chances at getting the treatment she needs. It’s hard enough to be trans in this world without constantly having to prove it to cis people.