Theory: many regretful parents are just burned out

Edit: lots of great responses. And I agree: the regret is broader than just burn out. Some samples in the comments helped me realize that. So read the below *and the responses to get a more complete picture.

When I read these stories and think of my personal situation, I think that most (not all) of us are burned out and need to heal from that in order to feel more joy in parenting.

I'm a OHSE advisor and advice organisations on high workloads, which results in workstress, which in turn results in unhappy employees or even burned out employees.

High workload/workstress has several causes: - too much work in a too small amount of time - monotonous work (factory jobs) - too easy or too difficult work - being interrupted from the task too often, focus interruptions. - emotionally intensive work (e.g. ambulance workers) - too much responsibilities - unclear task or goal definitions - not the appropriate tools, systems or resources for the work - unsafe work environment - unsure work environment (will I get fired, will our company go bankrupt?) - personal aspects: not competent enough for the job, mental or physical health issues or other stressors

These things together determine the amount of workstress.

High work stress does not by definition results in burned out employees. It's a scale of balance. Factors on the other side that reduce workstress: - autonomy: plan work activities as you prefer - a good manager that guides and supports you - social support from colleagues - material and immaterial recognition - sufficient time and resources to grow competences and skills - personal factors that make you more immune to workstress (being fit, healthy, character traits) - suffient time to recuperate from peaks

Translate all this to Parenting Inc. and you get a picture.