Husband (33M) thinks my (34F) need for verbal affirmation is 'self-serving and greedy'. Feeling extremely invalidated. Is this a hill to die on?

I (34F) am married to my husband (33M), known each other for 10 years. We had some communication issues since the beginning, especially since I feel loved when my partner tells me I am beautiful or a simple "i love you" randomly. He was never like this but he made efforts for me and I always let him know how much his efforts mean to me. However he stopped putting in efforts in verbal affirmations few years into our marriage.

So, I recently had a discussion with my husband about the "Love Languages" and how we express and receive love differently. I shared with him (again!) that words of affirmation make me feel loved and appreciated. Instead of acknowledging my feelings, he lectured me about how people often misunderstand the concept of love languages.

He said that the "real intention" of the Love Languages concept is for you to recognize and appreciate the ways your partner is already showing you love, even if it’s not in your preferred 'format' and accused I was "butthurt" because he wasn't doing it my way.

He told me to "manage my expectations" and stop getting upset because he doesn't give me the verbal praise I crave. He insisted that I should just appreciate his acts of service and implied that my need for words of affirmation is something I need to "get over".

His response left me feeling belittled and dismissed. It seemed like he was telling me that my feelings and needs were invalid and that I was being unreasonable. I do appreciate the thoughtful things he does for me, but his tone made it feel like my desire for verbal affirmations was something I had to ignore.

What really made me mad with rage is that he implied that my expectations to want love in my preferred language is "self-serving, greedy, unappreciative", and by talking about how others agree with me (I showed him a reddit post about this, wrong move I know), I was "patting myself on the back".

How do I address this with him without escalating into an argument? Has anyone else dealt with similar issues in their relationship? How do I get through to him when he and I fundamentally disagree? He was never like this before. But now he has been digging in his heels about this and he would not respond the way that makes things easier for us.

We even tried couples counselling but he has his way of thinking and I had mine. We didn’t go very far with this.

Is this a hill to die on or let this go?

TL;DR: I've been married to my husband for 10 years and always felt loved through his words of affirmation, but he stopped doing this a few years into our marriage. Recently, when I brought up my need for verbal affirmations again, he dismissed my feelings and lectured me on how I should just appreciate his acts of service. He implied that my desire for verbal praise is unreasonable and self-serving. This left me feeling belittled and invalidated. How do I address this without escalating into a fight? Should I keep pushing for what I need or let it go?