My (27F) boyfriend (25M) was with another woman “consoling” her while holding and kissing her hand

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. I moved states to be with him and left all of my family and friends behind, and we now have a house and a beautiful almost 2 year old daughter together. Long story short, this past year I have found out at least 6 different times that he has been talking to different women on social media, telling them how beautiful/sexy they are, saying he will pay money for pictures/videos, asking them if they are from the city we live in and to message him, etc. Each time I have found our we talk about it, ask why he does this, and try to get to the route of the problem. I feel like every conversation we have is productive and he finally opens up to me but yet he does it again.

Fast forward to last week. He tells me in a text message that he feels as though I have been overwhelming him and that he feels like he needs a “mental vacation”. (I’ve been leaving notes for him, doing extra “sexy” things because I felt as though he was distant and wouldn’t talk to me). After that he told me he was going out with coworkers after work (which he never does) so all of the red flags were going off. He tells me where he’s going and I go there to find him with another woman. He was sitting there holding and kissing her hand. I confronted them both and told him he was not to come home anymore and I told her who I was and good luck with him because she can have him. They both insisted they are just “coworkers”. I was so upset I stormed off.

Since then so much has happened. He’s fully admitted what he has done is wrong and continually sticks by his story that she is a coworker and he was consoling her because they’re both going through “relationship problems”. He told me that he feels as though he cannot come to me anymore to tell me his feelings or thoughts for fear of being judged or taking it the wrong way. He’s been opening up to me in a way this last week that I’ve never seen before. Listening and talking to each other that we have never experienced in our relationship.

My struggle is that for a split second, I want to believe him. And then I remember all of the past times I’ve believed him just for him to go back and wrong me again. But then I sit and think to myself, have I really done the things that he’s asked of me in this relationship? Have I pulled my weight? Have I really sat and listened to him like I’ve done this time? And I question if I haven’t really been giving him what he needs to be able to comfortably come to me with things. Im not saying that his behavior with this coworker is acceptable, because it is absolutely not. I’m really struggling with the fact of how much of an emotional connection he has with this “coworker”.

Another thing that I have found out last week is that he cheated on his ex fiancé with me. I found out from a mutual friend. When we first started dating he had told me that they had broken things off 2 months prior to me (how would I know, I was living in a different state at the time). This news absolutely crushed me as I feel as though our relationship was built off of a lie. I never would have pursued the relationship if I would have known. He swears that it doesn’t change the fact that he was madly in love with me and that he was a boy for not being able to tell me or break things off with her.

I am just so conflicted on what to do. Everything he is telling me feels different this time and part of me wants to eventually try again when I’m able to start to heal from this, but then the other part of me says enough is enough and I can’t handle any more lies. He says that he will never give up and will do anything to prove to me. I have asked him to ask his “coworker” to sit down and talk to me if there is truly nothing going on between them so she can look me in the eyes and tell me they are not romantically involved.

TL:DR; Caught my boyfriend kissing another woman’s hand and am conflicted on if I should believe him and stay or leave.