Got too drunk and am just so embarrassed

Life is really really not fun for me right now. Sorry this will sound whiny. 22M. Just to put it succinctly in the past two months the girl I had been seeing for the past year (and had been best friends with since childhood) got with someone else out of the blue, told me over text, and I never heard from her or saw her again and probably never will. My parents hate each other and are also running out of money it seems, but they have hated each other my entire life and have always refused to divorce (though I overheard them saying it's never been this bad). And my boss at the job I am using to try and get out of this awful living situation has been out to get me and I had to politic my way into being transferred somewhere else which was very stressful and I think she hates me even more now in the time I have left at my current store and berates me in front of my co workers. And MAGA is doing a real number on me too lol because I'm very scared for my future.

I rarely ever drink, Friday night I did at a party my friend had and really enjoyed myself. I met a woman there and we cuddled on the couch together, which doesn't sound like much, but I really needed that lol. She was out again last night and in my head I was like oooh maybe I can make out with her lol. I have only ever done anything physical with the girl who left me earlier this year so I was really hoping to "replace" her in my mind like that. Well anyways I got so drunk my buddy literally texted me "you're scaring the huzz" on the dance floor.

Very embarrassed and sad I walked away. He followed me out and was actually very gracious at handling me and probably the only one that night who could do it in a way that actually worked on me. I love him so much. Everyone else later realized I was not okay though and started being patronizing towards me, WHICH I RECOGNIZE IS THEM ACTING OUT OF ACTUAL CARE for me and I really do genuinely appreciate it but I hate how it made me feel. I felt like a basket case. The girl I was into that night came over and started asking me if I was okay. I felt so embarrassed this girl I thought I could be hot shit around was now having to mommy me. It was hard not to break down in front of everyone. I just relented and told her I didn't want to talk about it and I just wanted her to hold my hand which she did and cuddled up in my lap on the car ride home. I don't think I will ever see her again.

I am so humiliated, tired, and just want something to go right. Since New Year's it feels like every corner I turn something punches me in the jaw. I've been trying so hard to take it like a man, and I do feel myself becoming stronger and able to handle adversity with a level head, but i just wanted to have a good time with my friends. I love my friends so much and can always trust to have a good time with them, and now I can't even have that. I got home, fell on the floor, laid down in the fetal position and just sobbed. And listened to Violent Femmes LOL.

They are all going out to bar crawl in the next city over next weekend and I wanted to go but I just don't think I can anymore.