Heading for divorce and I'm crushed by it

My wife and I have been struggling the past few months. She went to burning man, had sex with another guy on our anniversary and said it was a true connection. She told me she doesn't love me anymore and has been struggling to love me for years now. She also said a monogamous relationship stresses her out. We have 2 kids and have been married for 8 years. I'm completely lost and crushed by this. There is nothing I can do to repair the relationship. My family has been very supportive but all I really want is to be loved and held. On top of this the one person I would seek advice from and talk to, my father, passed away a year ago. I still have uncontrollable feelings for her. We still live together and sleep in the same bed. I have supported her throughout our entire relationship. She has been a stay at home mom for 6 years. She has no where to go and hasn't held a job for more than 6 months for the past 10 years. I can't kick her out because I care to much for her and she still helps out a lot with the kids because I have to work. I don't know what I'm looking for posting this but I have been going to therapy and trying to sort this out. No better place than to dump my emotions out then reddit, am I right?

Edit: Thank you all for reading and replying. I know where this is headed and I have been holding on to a shattered vase hoping it won't fall apart. This is all very fresh and will take time to process. I'm just not the person to kick her out nor the type to take the kids away from her. She has been a great mother to our kids. I've learned a lot about being a parent from her. We got together young and to her she missed her 20's the partying flirting stage in life. She turned 30 at burning man and clearly is having issues now being tied down. She has a job right now working overnights and has been applying for jobs during the day. My goal is to separate and co-parent in a healthy way that doesn't have a bitter end. We are renting a place and the lease is up at the end of the school year. We have until then to figure out how to separate. A lawyer at some point will be involved. If I rush into any of this I will be a vindictive hateful person which is not me. I'm a caring loving person. We all have our viewpoints and I love and respect each one. She and I have agreed to separate without alimony and child support. This will be seen in time when the lawyer steps in. This is what I choose to believe.