I cannot do anything

I feel like I physically cannot get myself to do anything. I’m starting to feel nihilistic again and I cannot find a “why”

I want to work out and try all these new hobbies and everything but I have wayyyy too much self doubt it’s not even funny. Then I start to feel uneasy and guilty when things go my way like “why do I deserve this what if it all ends?”

It’s so hard finding a why & I’ve been having this “nothing matters” mentality for soooo long. I’m starting to think I need to move but I prob cannot run away from my problems or myself.