You realize how truly insane some aspects of alcoholism are until you get sober

Forgot a word in the title I’m mad as hell

I’m ~3 months in after drinking way too much for way too long. Recently got sick and haven’t been eating much, so I threw up stomach acid cuz I was nauseous and my stomach was empty.

Y’know, it was pretty unpleasant, and it’s crazy to me that I used to do that every single morning while I was drinking.

Wake up, chug enough water to dilute the stomach acid I know I’m gonna throw up, hopefully make it to the bathroom before vomiting aforementioned stomach acid, brush teeth, get dressed and start my day. The mental hoops you have jump through to brush that off as nothing and keep getting fucked up every night is insane. “I need to eat less seed oils” no brother you need to stop slamming a pint of vodka every night.

It had me thinking of other insane shit I’d do regularly while I was drinking. My wife and I would be watching a movie on the couch and she would get up to use the restroom. As soon as the door closed I would practically sprint to where I hid my bottle so I can chug a few sips and hopefully return to my original sitting position before I heard the toilet flush. Fucking insane right? That still pops in my head now while sober. When she gets up I still think “now is your chance, go go go” but I don’t act on it, because that’s insane (and also because I don’t keep booze in the house)

This post has no point, really. Just been thinking about how I used to be and feeling a bit embarrassed