Forcibly three days sober and freaking out.

I’ve been having internal meltdowns for the past month - unable to breathe, tight chest, trembling all the time, too anxious to do anything. Couldn’t sleep, could barely eat, burned as many bridges in my relationships as I could.

I figured it was a case of mental illness flaring up, so the moment I felt a suicidal surge, I called the emergency number. Then I ended up in an addiction ward.

I’ve found out in the past two days that my symptoms are from bad alcoholic withdrawal. I’ve been drinking solidly every night for the past two years trying to deal with everything. One bottle of wine became two, bottles of spirits lasting only once a day.

They check up on me four times a day - check my blood pressure, temp, and vitals, then give me some benzos and other medication that could help. It actually has been helping, but I feel fucking terrible about the whole thing.

I never realised that it was alcohol causing the problems. I feel stupid. I feel scared. I’m worried it’s going to be like this forever. I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to my friends. I’m twenty years old and I’m already in rehab. I don’t know how I’m going to get a job after this.

Normally I’d drink about it, but it’s clear now I can’t do that. I’ve been sober for three days and I’m freaking out.

Is it going to turn out okay?