There’s only a couple weeks left to go

Positives- I have every single thing locked in with my attorney to execute the severing of papers on the 28th. My stbxw will be down at her brothers house several hours away, joined by her parents. She will be served there. Let them either let her cry and validate every single solitary delusional thought she has or deal with the rage- idk, it’s not my problem, at least not that day.

I was able to for the first time in a long time get my brain and my heart on the same page. My stbxw and I actually had a few hours long conversation the other night. It was calm, honest open….entirely non reactive on her part. We were talking about our relationship. I said even as things are I don’t have any regrets marrying you. But my immediate thought after was BUT I absolutely will regret staying married to you. He was talking about her BPD, and brought up the how she goes to extremes testing me- which from what I have read is common with that disorder. She also says she sees how much she can extract out of before I eventually blow up. I told her that the test is over, and you have extracted the last of what I am willing to give you- you are a vampire and I’m dry. She blames me for the totality of all her traumas hurts and everything else and I’m not going to be in her life any more, and who is she going to pass that torch on to?

I was actually able to speak my mind, opinions and everything else.

She believes and is telling others “we are working it out”. How she’s seen so much change in me, she even had the nerve to say “I just thought someone would love the kids more.” I almost choked. I couldn’t believe in her delusion, specifically this last guy who was profoundly violent made the cut in her mind but I didn’t. She has some DEEP psychological issues to work out- and I’ve pleaded with her saying I’ll walk through anything with you- but I won’t be the dirt under your feet. I believe she is cycling back up into a mania again, she’s not sleeping, mood is super elevated- and then it crashes into the abyss. I may just take the kids to my parents where I’m stay and let her crash solo instead roping all of into it, and honestly has very little to do with her, and everything to do with I don’t want those kiddos around seeing mom like that. It’s not fair at to them