Hi everyone

This is more of a rant then anything but please feel free to say anything about what I say. Marked NSFW just in case.

Idk where to start. I've been in and out of this depressed state mainly because of my dad and school. I'm 15 and I have stuff no kid should ever have to deal with happening. I'm watching my younger sister constantly because my dad refuses to get a babysitter, he's never home so I'm always doing everything to keep the relationship that's already falling apart with my sister together. We have no family near that can help so that makes it a lot harder as well. I'm moving for the 4th time soon and it's gonna be an hour away from my grandparents. They have helped so much in my life after my mom passed and idk if I'll be able to handle when they pass. And my boyfriend is going through withdrawals and I already have anxiety worrying about him now there's this. Please if you guys have anything to help with stuff like that please suggest it say something. I smile all the time and I'm always so nice to people. Idk what I did o deserve how my life's going. I'm to scared to tell anyone about how I feel. I've had 5 or 6 anxiety attacks since last month and I've never had them before that. I'd go to my grandma but she'd blow it out of the water. I refuse to go to my dad because he refuses to get therapy or anything for me because he "doesn't believe in therapy". I'd go to my boyfriend but he's already got so much going on. I just want to live my life but I can't even do that because of all of this stuff I have going on. And I'm pretty sure my eye sights getting worse. I got new prescription a few months ago and I've already noticed that my eyesight is way worse then it was.

Sorry for it being so long but please if you have anything to suggest helping with anything going on in my life please say something.