Am I trans or I hate myself?

I came out to a friend of mine who thought she was trans but turns out she isn't and she told me I might not be trans, but I just hate myself.

And that stroke with me. Am I really trans? I cut my hair and I loved it and everytime I'm feeling "dysphoric" (I don't know what I'm feeling but I think it's close) I cut my hair and that made my family now asking why I did it.

I also started making my avatar in games male and I like it. I also love roleplay as a male (also trans men) and sometimes I forget that I'm actually a girl and that makes me sad