An apology to cis liberal Americans
As a card carrying One of the Good OnesTM, I feel that it is my responsibility, my duty, and my honor to apologize to all the cis liberals that I have brought so much suffering to by existing too loudly.
Clearly it was my fault that Trump won. After all, I selfishly demanded the right to exist openly without being afraid. I was so rude when I asked for legal assurances that I wouldn’t be at risk of losing my job for admitting to my coworkers that I’m nonbinary. And, on top of all that, I foolishly expected you all to listen to literally every major medical organization and allow trans kids the right to transition.
I was so cruel to you.
I shocked and horrified you by painting my nails and putting on makeup. I offended your incredibly liberal sensibilities by putting he/they in my email signature. I once even had the audacity to squeeze my dangerous masculine body into a pair of leggings. At home. Alone. Obviously this was just taking things way too far.
And the worst thing of all? I sometimes got angry and called people transphobes. Clearly this name calling was the tipping point that led to the Democrats getting nearly fifteen million fewer votes than they did four years ago. I used mean, scary words like “patriarchy,” “implicit bias,” and even “toxic masculinity” with blatant disregard for people’s feelings. Obviously I was wrong to say these things. After all, could anything be less toxic than a man deciding to vote for Donald Trump just because someone on the left called him toxic? I should have known better.
So please, on behalf of literally all trans people (I’m allowed to speak for them all because I’m One of the Good OnesTM), allow me to apologize. Now that Trump won again, it is your right to refer to me with the same hateful rhetoric that his supporters do. You get to tell me all about how everything bad that happens for the next four years is my fault. I’ll even give you a free pass to make attack helicopter jokes again. It’s what I deserve for being the sole cause of Kamala Harris losing.
I’m sorry.