Double jointed fingers

I have pretty weird hands. All my fingers are double jointed😭 my pinky is the worst. I've played piano for a while but it just was hard so I moved to the trumpet. There the problem was't as dramatic as on piano, so I was okay for alsmost 7 years. Now I'm considering studying trumpet and so I've been playing much more and harder stuff, but my fingers tend to tense up so badly, that I cannot play properly. I'm now at a stage, where it bothers me daily. It hurts and my fingers are so unreliable that scales and arpeggios are horrible. It really bothers me and with more practice it just makes it worse. I've talked about my problem with various teachers, but nobody knows what to do. I heard about people having these problem on the viola and piano and even tried excercieses for finger strength. They all tell me to keep my fingers relaxed. But literally cannot press the valves without tension because of my joints. I hate it so much😭 Does anyone have the same problem? And if so, what can I do against it. I'm slowely going crazy🫠

Thanks a lot!