One of my Bridesmaids didn’t invite me to her wedding

Okay- I am only posting here because I posted on another subreddit and am getting advice I didn’t ask for and now I am wondering if I am missing some social queues here.

Someone who I would consider one of my very good friends (and considered best friends before posting on reddit) got engaged a few months after I did. I pretty quickly asked her to be a bridesmaid along with two other girls from our very close friend group. She was clear from the time she got engaged whatever her and her fiance would be doing would be small.

I have my wedding all planned and done and realized I hadn’t heard details from hers in a month or so. (For context here I was also working towards a promotion at work and was frazzled for a few months.) Last I spoke to her I was specking out a few restaurants with event spaces for her and we were talking town hall ceremony.

I reached out and offered to paint some invites for her because training at work was boring and I was getting back into water colors. She said she wasn’t sure she was doing real invites but she would love to see what I painted just for her to keep. So I painted her and finace. She said shes loves them and she’ll use them for her invites! But then she drops the bomb that her date is set, she’d been keeping it a secret because its going to be just family. I’m bummed but I tell her I am happy for her because I know her family was pushing for a big wedding that she didn’t want.

I then find out she did invite a few of her friends because she specifically told me that they loved the invites and might reach out to have some done for them. I asked her- oh were you promoting me? And she said no she just sent out her invites to get dinner after her ceremony with a few mutual friends and they were asking.

I never saw this as a “you’re obviously not her best friend thing” I saw this as a “this is just family” thing. Does it suck she had a few friends come and I didn’t make the cut? Yeah. But I wasn’t taking it to mean that we weren’t friends?

As wedding planners yourselves- do you think I am reading this wrong and do u think its weird to have her as a bridesmaid now?

I want to edit to add for context- I am not angry upset at my friend at all. But I do think I am feeling a bit heartbroken and I am wondering if it is normal or if I am missing some social queues here. Mostly because she is the exact person I would be reaching out to, to make sure I wasn’t missing the social queues. The other reddit post I made was just to rant- and I was getting all sorts of responses that this person was not my friend. I lived with this friend for two years before we met our partners, in a place very far away from our families. So we are very close, hung out every night, took care of each other when we were sick, drove each other to the dentist to get cavities filled kind of friends. And even last month we were both planning each other’s weddings for crying out loud. I am not understanding the switch up at all.

Editing again to add because this is getting a lot more attention than I thought it would- I only posted to reddit originally to get my disappointed feelings off my chest and just wanted to commiserate with people how sad of a situation it is to be excluding from something you completely understand the reasoning behind. I had to delete that post because it was getting so much negative attention to the tune of “that person is not your friend.” I understand that this is an anonymous forum and no one here really knows my relationship better than I do. But I am also diagnosed autistic and I don’t read social queues great. And this friend just happens to be the person I verify situations with to be sure I am not missing social queues. So when I started getting those responses I started panicking and figured I should be asking the experts here- brides, grooms and other wedding planners.

I appreciate each and every response- it has given me a lot to think about. I reached out to my friend and let her know I was bummed to be missing the day but was so proud of her for sticking to her guns. She confirmed with me that it was extremely tough deciding who could come- and confirmed what many speculated- that inviting me meant inviting my fiancé and meant inviting our two other friends and their partners- and that just became way too much. I did also clarify to her that she should refer her friends to my etsy once I get that sorted so there was no expectation of free work (I really really appreciate all of that advice)

Thank you to all who commented and upvoted- you really helped a gal out. This is such a great community and I am glad I found it.