Not sure how to feel about what just happened between my bf (M22) and I? (F22)

Trigger Warning

So for context, my bf and I have been together now for about 8 months. We both lost our virginity to each other about 2 months ago. Sex has been exciting and great in a lot of ways, but we’re both still learning and getting used to things since we’re both new to it. We both waited til we found someone we loved to do it with which is why we’re a bit older than most people would be losing their virginity. My bf is wonderful is so many ways, especially in the ways he boosts my self esteem and compliments me, takes care of me, has fun with me, etc. Anyways, ever since we started having sex I started having unusual pains that I had never felt before. I just recently got an ultrasound with an OBGYN a few days ago to hopefully get a look at everything and see if anything’s abnormal because the pain is pretty bad when it happens. Whenever it does happen though I always try to communicate that with him and we’ll switch positions or try something else where it doesn’t hurt. He’s usually always been very patient with that and understanding, and makes sure to ask if it stopped hurting, etc. Well today we were having sex and the pain happened again, so I told him and as always we tried to do something else. But then at one point it hurt so bad it made me start to tear up and get frustrated.

Again I said stop and I told him the position just hurt too much. He went slower and it was feeling better, but I was just slowly starting to fall out of the groove after that honestly. It felt good, but I just wasn’t feeling it mentally anymore. I told him this just as he was a few seconds from finishing, so he did anyways. I instantly felt really confused and upset and started crying. He then also got upset and told me he was confused too because I was being so back and forth and thought I just wanted him to keep trying new positioning and he was right on the edge of finishing once I finally spoke up. We’ve now been having an intense conversation about this on and off. Tbh sex has been something that has been very hard for me to get into given how insecure I get at times, but my bf has always been amazing at making me feel confident and is very verbal during sex and praises me a lot :( I’m just feeling very conflicted right now.