Not my favourite dictator

Every time your cat brings back dead mice into your home - seemingly a misguided present to you - is actually to cover for them murdering 3 human beings whilst outside.

Power Rangers were fat shaming Teletubbies.

Skunk

The 5th Ammendment was inserted into the Constitution by a court typist who really couldn't be bothered.

Elon Musk has just upgraded his data information framework to Encarta '98.

These days if they arrest you and put you in prison they'll arrest you and put you in prison.

"Ohh it's just 'Inside Paper'.." "You look young there...." "well-" "It's 18 months old." "🫥"

State department orders cancellation of media subscriptions around world

Edward Woodward wouldn't.

*tic-tok-tic-tok* is a conspiracy to double the length of the universe's time dimension. But they sound exactly the same. There is no second sound: It should be: *tic-tic-tic-tic*

The non-lowstakes conspiracies posted here could be an attempt to turn it into another ragebait bot sub.

🤵🏻"Pound for pound there's more meth in a lemon than a strawberry..." 👩🏼"Well I wouldn't know if that's true or not.." 🤵‍♀"Well you would cause I've just put it in the canon, and I'm not a liar.."

Colorado men accused of attempting to use a cannon to launch meth and tobacco into Louisiana prison

Cauliflower. Cauliflower! CAULIFLOWER!!!! Sorry, I've got florets.

Katy Perry has had the ideal musical career from a professional standpoint.

Crab at his Year End Review: 'We've decided to move you sideways.'

I think it's probable something or someone can read our minds

Wrote a little poem

"Thanks very much." "Noo, no not in a good way"

Laughing Kremlin Insiders Say Trump Has Given Putin Greenlight to Expand the War

Eastenders, you are 40 years old

"Awwoo nawwoo...Don't throw Supreme Leader away just because I'm leaving, yeah. You'll probably get to know Bolsanaro and, ya know-" "That's not why I'm actually going.." "Welll, I've read between the lines." "Well, you haven't read it."

"Federal agencies are like one big pie, and if they've let me in charge of that big pie, I'll be in charge of the...pie, and the people are the fruit-"

If you donate £2 to Wikipedia, Jimmy Wales comes round to your house once a month, knocks on the door and cleans your oven, with or without consent. Without going into details..

Everyone has now played Margaret Thatcher in film or on TV.

That's SO Barbara, she's such a racist..

Musk to rehire Doge aide who resigned over racist posts

"Seedy little men and their seedy little jokes.."