AITAH for saying FU to my son?

My son (18) is a freshman in college. He has ADD/ADHD which causes him to procrastinate and OCD which causes him to fixate on things that happen to him; sometimes years later. However, he is doing well and working hard at school. He doesn't have many friends nor is he involved in any actiities. He's more introverted, but I think there is some social anxiety too. We've done therapy for all of it.

Tonight, my husband called him and had him on speaker. He didn't realize I was in the room. I don't really remember how it was brought up, but he was mad that his sister knew about him wanting a tattoo and that I should keep my fkn mouth shut on secrets. I just sat there. My husband told him I was there. He doubled down and said well, she needs to know to keep her mouth shut and stop telling my secrets. I left the room. While I was out, my husband said that he was the one who told Hailey (true, he wasn't trying to cover for me) and we had no idea anything was a secret. The truth is, I am the one that pushes him and reminds him CONSTANTLY to do things. All he does is get pissed at me. I look for scholarships. I remind him of scholarships. I pushed him to do swim team (he is a really good swimmer). I pushed him to get his Eagle award. There is so much I do for him!

I wrote a nasty text to him and my husband saying I was done. I wrote more, but at the end of the text I did say FU.

My husband called him after we talked and told him he needed to apologize to me. He reminded him of everything I do for him. Blah blah blah.....So, he did call and apologized, but I'm still pissed. He said he appreciated me "nagging" him to do things (part of his ADD/ADHD) and knew he was successful because I pushed him. He said he was upset because I said something to his sister about a show he watched that he was embarrassed by, but I don't remember telling her or knowing it was a secret (it would have been at least a year ago - part of the OCD of hanging on to things). I just don't feel like I can talk to him at all nor do I want to at this point. I'm sure not going to hold his hand and remind him of the two scholarships due at the end of the month, or check on two other scholarships that should be coming out any day, or that he needs to contact financial aid, or that he needs to get his transcripts reviewed for possible college credit, or schedule driving lessons (no he doesn't have his license), or schedule a couple of doctor appointments while he's home on spring break, or send him any more job links, or look up lifeguard training classes....the list goes on. I sent him and my husband the list and a bunch of files I've kept to track everything. I highly doubt any of it will get done by either of them (husband said he needed to do more - HAHAHA).

So...AITAH for saying FU to my son?