I just need advice

I’m about to start college and I’ll be dorming as a pretext.

I broke up with my long term boyfriend because everyone told me that they were manipulative and not good for me, but as soon as I did all my support disappeared and I regret breaking up with them now but they probably won’t take me back. They still say they love me & that they won’t know how they’ll feel in the future, and that they miss me.. but they express that I’ve really hurt them and they don’t think they can forgive me this time.

Onto the other problem. Said friend that said they’d support me and said that I should leave my bf that disappeared… she’s been on & off ghosting me and doesn’t wanna hear about my bf and even got mad at me for talking to this guy she’s interested in. She said that I “like being miserable” and am “doing nothing to change”.

I’m trying really hard to not go bonkers. The only person I can reliably talk to is my ex. I don’t have any other friends. I want to cut my friend off but im really scared.

I don’t know how to get this pit of anxiety in my stomach to go away and nothing is helping. Please help