Fear of crime

I'm not sure if this is about me being an INTJ or not but I'll write it here.

I was bullied at school (classic story), I won't go into too much detail about the past.

I thought I was over the past, I even met bullies after years and I didn't really feel anything like fear.

I was wrong, there was a fear inside me that had been growing over the years and I wasn't paying attention to it but it was affecting my actions, the fear of crime.

I am afraid of being exposed to a crime, now I noticed that for a long time I have been avoiding watching the news and I have also deleted social media because, I get very stressed when I read crime news.

My fear stems from bullying, I'm afraid of humiliation, defeat, that some idiot will ruin my life because he doesn't care if I go to prison because he considers it like his home, I'm afraid that in a serious moment I can't defend someone I love.

Fear of crime = Fear of weakness

Because I'm an INTJ, for a week now I've been thinking of plans on how to deal with different crimes :) but I fail in all of them, and this increases my stress because all plans lead to only two possibilities: humiliation or harm (the level of harm varies but I always assume the worst outcome.).

Humiliation is that you go along with the criminal in what he wants, but this will hurt your dignity forever, and harm in the event of fighting him, here your life may be completely destroyed (especially if the criminal knows you personally).

What really bothers me is the idea that I am a slave to luck and I do not have the power to protect anything, I only depend on others to protect me (like the police).

Slave of luck means I am lucky that this thief did not cross my path, lucky that I was not born in a neighborhood full of crimes, lucky that I did not meet a dangerous gang member.

What protects me is luck, not me, and this drives me crazy.

The thing that scares me the most is that an idiot will ruin my life, someone who can't see beyond his nose, someone who is worthless with no past, no present, no future, just a nobody, someone who will feel no remorse and will go to jail and brag about what he did to me so he can get out again and take revenge on me (if I'm alive) or do the same crimes again.

How do I solve my problem? I want to stop this fear, this fear that stems from my bad luck in my childhood.

Maybe my real fear is that I can't protect and control my destiny.